Into the Shadows

Moving the blog...

2006-03-14T09:38:00.000-05:00

I'm moving this blog from here to my WordPress blog, for several reasons. It's more customisable, and my main reason for choosing blogger was ease of finding themes; I've actually found more that I like for WordPress. :P

All prior entries and comments have been imported and can be found here.

The RSS feed for the new blog is here.

As I won't be using this blog anymore, I've disabled comments.

See you at the new place! :)

Writing Communities and Toxic Perfectionism

2006-03-08T06:24:00.000-05:00

Funny how various posts around the web can be so thought-provoking. I've been mulling over this for a few days now, and the more I think about it, the more complicated it gets.

OK, so y'all probably want me to cut to the chase. Basically, the posts and threads have got me thinking about practical usefulness of writing communities. (And just to reassure folks who might worry--I'm not questioning administrating Evolution. That's not the point of this rant. :)

I've been a member in various writing communities and critique groups for five years, including, but not limited to, Critters, Forward Motion, the Rumor Mill, Evolution, and Romance Divas. So it's not like I'm coming at this without experience.

Now, so people don't get the wrong idea ... I'm not ranting about specific communities or crit groups at all, but the toxic perfectionism that is all too common in any community. And if it isn't actively happening at X community, there's probably a good number of people in X that have had it happen to them elsewhere.

Anyhoo. On to the rant.

Many writing communities have a publication-oriented atmosphere and attitude. This isn't a problem; I think pursuing publication is great, so long as it's what the writer wants to do. But attitudes and advice I've seen focus on writing for publication to the exclusion of writing for fun. Or they focus on writing "well."

I know several people who have been told some variant of the following--

"Don't use 'was' or 'were' in description; it's passive." (Which is actually incorrect.)

"Never use forms of 'to be.'"

"Show, don't tell!"

"Don't use adverbs."

"Don't use speech tags." (Like: "Bloody hell," he growled.)

"Oh, btw, so-and-so author did something similar." (Often with the undertone in context that because someone did that--even if the similarities are minute!--you should change your story so there are no parallels.)

"That's too weird. It'll never sell."

"Don't write [current trend]. The market is glutted and you'll never be able to sell it."

And so on.

Basically, advice focusing around "Don't do that" or "You can't."

You know what? I have a huge problem with that. Cause both just set writers up to lose confidence in themselves and feel dejected. New writers are likely to follow advice of people who seem to be more knowledgeable writers. And that can just fuck people over.

What I've seen happen--a lot--is people focus on "writing well" or "writing for publication" to the exclusion of writing because they love it. They become so intent on not writing badly, on writing a "perfect" draft, that they lose their passion along the way.

In critiquing, I've seen a lot of writers post work that's technically perfect. Crisp, tight prose, vivid description, proper formatting... but it doesn't have that spark. It feels illusory, like covering up an arid desert with painted images of flowing waterfalls and lush vegetation. You can still taste the dry, dusty air.

That "spark" can make the difference between an acceptance and a rejection. If you don't love the work ... it shows. It really does.

Most of the time, writers aren't even fully conscious of it. Many of them struggle to force the words out, battling with their inner demon cracking the "write well" whip.

You know what?

Perfect prose doesn't matter. Take a look at what's on the NYT bestseller lists sometime. Pay attention to the prose. Now, ask this: If the author had passed this through your crit group/writing community, how many of the critiquers would have screamed up and down that X, Y, and Z needed to be fixed or it wouldn't sell?

I'd be willing to bet quite a lot of em.

What matters--and why writers who aren't really that great but continue to sell in huge numbers--is the story.

Your average reader has no fucking comprehension of Writing Community Prose Rules. Your average reader doesn't give two shits if you say "he snarled" or "she said frostily." Your average reader doesn't give a damn if you say "She had long brown hair" vs. "Long brown hair caught the sun's brilliant rays, highlights shining bright gold."

Key is, everything in moderation. Sometimes "he snarled" is the right thing to say. Sometimes using shorthand description is appropriate. Etc.

(Now, before some nitwit decides to use this as an excuse to include every single n00bist writing mistake known to man, let me point back at everything in moderation. Throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater is just as bad as toxic perfectionism.)

I've a huge problem with the idea that you must never do X, Y, or Z. While there's a lot of people who will swear up and down that they don't tell people "never"--well, maybe they don't. But it's sure as hell the impression that comes through. When it's not just one or two people who hold those opinions, but the majority of people in the community... well, what the hell is a new/intermediate writer without much experience or self-confidence supposed to think?

Any so-called "writing rule" can be broken. There are no rules. Just guidelines. They exist so people who don't known why they exist don't make huge mistakes. But they aren't meant to be followed to the letter, 100% of the time, and that's how far too many people treat them.

And let's diverge on the topic a bit more. I've seen writers totally change their plots or gave up a book because one supposedly experienced person told them "You can't do [x]" or "This won't sell." Including me--I changed a huge subplot in the book I'm currently rewriting because one person whose opinion I then respected told me I couldn't have more than one villain in a book. (The original subplot is going back in, btw.) I have a good friend who was told she shouldn't write vampire fiction because it was all cliched and it wouldn't sell.

You know what? Whether or not it "sells" doesn't matter.

What matters is what YOU, the WRITER, get out of writing the book. What matters is that you enjoy it. That you have fun. That you write something that YOU are proud of--not something that conforms to often-conflicting Writing Community "Rules."

Write what you love.

Write the story that sings to your heart and your soul.

Write for yourself, not for some perfectionistic "audience."

Cause that's what matters. That's what'll shine through. Cause if you betray your own heart and write something that you don't love, not deep down ... well, it'll show. And it'll take its toll. You might not notice it at first. Most people don't, cause it's like the proverbial frog in the pot of boiling water. You don't notice it till you're so blocked you can hardly write and then you can't figure out why.

The story is what matters. Not perfect prose. The story is what will sell--not how pretty and prim and perfect you write.

A lot more people need to remember that.

Progress

2006-03-04T08:09:00.000-05:00

So I finished up the outline (after having it ruthlessly shredded by my fiance/writing partner Alan Morgan) and have started working on the actual (re)writing for Stronger than the Night.

Currently, I'm standing at:

Stronger than the Night
7466 / 100000 (7.47%)

I have some other writing to get done. I've a few articles I volunteered to write for Evolution, along with sorting out stuff for A&B.

I just need to get back into the "write every day" routine vs. the "write every other other day or two." Then again, that's still more than I've written regularly in the past, oh, couple of years, so I suppose I oughtn't complain too much... :P

blinkblink*

2006-02-08T07:29:00.000-05:00

So I checked the email box I formerly used exclusively for submissions, as I needed to double-check rights on an article contract. I never check this box anymore, as I switched to using my main gmail account for it last spring and any submissions I had out from it, I'd queried with the new address.

Anyway, I find a rejection from an anthology I'd submitted to in 2004. The editor commented that the character's behavior was unconvincing and unrealistic. (Funny, people who read it prior to my submitting didn't think so, but whatever.)

But, that's not what bothers me. Cause even if I don't agree with it, I appreciate it when an editor takes time to comment on my work.

Closing line? "You would benefit from attending [publisher's short fiction workshop]."

Which, when I go look at it on their website, is $500.

... Excuse me?

Am I the only one who considers this trollish, near-scamming, and absolutely unacceptable? Cause, look, I don't really care when they collect my email address from submissions and put me on their mailing list for stuff like this. Usually, you can unsubscribe if you don't want to receive the info, and all's good.

But to reject a story and tell the author she should take their class? Uh. No. Sorry. Fuck off and die.

*puts another market on the do-not-submit list*

*sighs*

Dear gods...

2006-02-08T07:28:00.000-05:00

(x-posted from the LJ. Originally posted 02-0-06.)

For the first time in nearly three years, I believe I can do it. Deep down, I believe.

I used to believe that I could--that I *would*--be published. That I'd manage to make it. Break out. Affect change, if even in my own quiet little way. Even a tiny pebble dropped into the waves ripples outward, after all.

I don't know exactly what happened, or maybe it was everything combined... but something in me *broke* three years ago. Cause I'd try to tell myself it was true, try to force myself to believe it, but it was like my heart was ... empty. Like where there'd once been a well of hope and determination, there was a gaping hole... the abyss.

I don't know what changed. I don't know if it was the realisation I made a few weeks ago regarding writing, or if that was only the catalyst... but I have hope again. Determination. And confidence.

I'll do it. I *know* I will... and this time it's not me parroting words in a vain effort to convince myself. I *believe* it.

And that... that feeling is euphoric.

Further realisations...

2006-02-08T07:26:00.000-05:00

(x-posted from the LJ. Originally posted 01-21-06.)

So. I've been back to working on Stronger recently. This actually happened about four or five days after I made my prior entry regarding writing, but I've been busy and haven't gotten around to it. But... it's another, very large piece of the puzzle.

While working on one of the subplots, I realised I needed to reference old notes, because I couldn't quite remember what I'd originally planned. Except that said notes weren't notes; they were part of an IM transcript from January 2003. Probably a couple weeks after I'd finished Stronger, if I'm not mistaken.

Anyway. They were, unsurprisingly, conversations with Robert about Stronger, the world setting, later books, etcetera. This time, though, I noticed something I hadn't.

Usually when I brainstorm with people, they either tell me what I've got already is good, or make suggestions to improve it.

Robert didn't. Robert leapt into the story like he was part of the writing. Snippet from the logs:

Nonny says:
How would you feel about being a main or secondary character in a novel? With him as mage? *grins*
Robert says:
ANd he has the same realistic attitude to his world that I did to mine where I knew how it worked.
Robert says:
Ooh neat neat neat! You mean a few years later when he grows up and is teen magician?
Nonny says:
Yep.
Robert says:
And gets a girlfriend?
Nonny says:
Later on in the series.
Robert says:
Ooh purr!
Nonny says:
No, love, I was going to keep him single forever. /sarcasm
Robert says:
I could see his answer to 'don't cross kreshida and kreshida' being as simple as a vasectomy if he's in love with her.
Nonny says:
Oh yeah--WOW.
Nonny says:
Didn't think of that.
Nonny says:
Didn't think he'd get a lady kreshida
Robert says:
She could be human or kreshida, but if she's kreshida and that happens he'd get a vasectomy, not rely on condoms. They fail.
Robert says:
and another Queen would make the kreshida world that rough.
Nonny says:
Yep--oooooh that could almost be worth doing, though.
Robert says:
The healed kreshida magicians would still have a Dark Court and Cassandra still lead it.
Robert says:
Yeah. I don't know what your concept is but it'll be fun!
Robert says:
Gods.
Robert says:
Nonny, the parent that's kreshida -- is that another Abomination?
Robert says:
Which is kreshida? His mother or his father?
Robert says:
If it's both they hid him.

I'd never finished a full-length novel until I joined FM and brainstormed with Robert and others. The farthest I ever got before stalling out was about 30k. I wrote Sanctuary, Mercenary, Bridge of Faith, and Stronger all with that kind brainstorming.

So, what happened when it was gone? When I didn't have anybody telling me what to do?

... Yeah.

It's not that there was anything wrong with the brainstorming in and of itself. As much as I'm loathe to admit it, I probably owe him an apology, as I've accused him of sabotaging my writing (although I don't believe deliberately) in the past.

*sighs*

I wish I'd been able to figure this out before. It would've saved me years of head-pounding and heartache. But, I've made a lot of progress in a lot of ways since making these realisations. I don't think I'm out of the woods yet, not by any stretch of the imagination... but I think I'm further along than I was before.

Have the courage and be yourself,
Forget your heros, believe in yourself
Find the right way that leads you to the end,
The end of this control
Until your soul is free....right now!

-- "Believe In Yourself" / Girls Under Glass

Introspection...

2006-02-08T07:14:00.000-05:00

(x-posted from the LJ ... originally posted 01-07-06)

I think most everybody who knows me knows I've been having trouble with writing for quite some time. As in, several years, at this point. (Gods, it's hard to believe this much time has gone by.) I've been trying to figure out why for the longest time. Most recently, I'd attributed part of it to the difference in atmosphere between early Forward Motion (from the time I joined) and Evolution. IE, lack of activity, difficulty finding people to brainstorm, etc. While that's certainly a contributing factor, and something that needs to be (and is being) addressed as a matter of course, it's not the main issue.

I think I figured it out the other day.

It's kind of odd how it came about, actually. I was thinking about magic, and how I know people who are able to trust what they sense in the magical/psychic "world" without doubting themselves. I haven't been able to do that, for the most part. I talk with others, get their opinion, check it out ... basically, validation. I have trouble believing myself.

And then it struck me. I do the same thing with writing. I had the same trouble I'm having now before I joined FM and got with a group of people who gave me encouragement and support. I brainstormed Stronger with Robert and other people in BN course... and got used to that. Very used to people being there for me to toss ideas off of ... and it wasn't even that I needed alternative suggestions all the time. Sometimes it was just enough to say, "Yup, you're going in the right direction. Keep it up."

And... well. That's a problem. Because I don't, at the core, trust my own judgement. I've known for a long time that I have issues with needing permission. Even when I was a kid, I didn't dare do things for fear that I might get in trouble. I was the little girl who went to her friend's sleepover party and wouldn't want a particular TV show with them the next morning because my parents didn't let me watch it at home. And it's not just stuff like that, it was even things I knew for a fact were okay. I still have trouble with that. Like, going out on my own without Morgan telling me it's okay.

I guess I have issues with (in)dependence. And that's a hard thing for me to say, because ... well. I'm not exactly a weak-willed quiet woman here!

I just... I knew about it on the magical level. And I knew about it on the personal. And I've been working on it. But I didn't think it stretched out to my writing, too. Cause it's not like I'm not confident. To be honest, I know at least as much, if not more, than most of the other writers I hang out with ... yet I need permission/validation. I guess that's been the problem. Because before, at FM, there were people that I considered my "superiors," as it were. People I could go to, ask questions, get answers... and that's not the case at Evo. If anything, I've been put in the position of the "superior," and that's a little odd for me.

*sigh*

In a strange way, though, it's ... empowering to have made the recognition. Because knowing about it... I can change it. I couldn't when I didn't know quite what the problem was. Now that I do ... I can start to move forward again. I've been treading water these past few years and, well, I'm sick of it.

Onward!

(Should I be disturbed that I can psychoanalyse myself like this? o.O)

On horror/vampire cliches...

2005-10-16T01:12:00.000-04:00

I went looking for an old post of mine earlier this evening to show a friend, as I didn't feel like explaining my stance on vampire stereotypes for the thousandth time. I wrote this on Evolution over a year ago, but I like it enough and think it's relevant enough to repost. :)

~@~

Let's try the axe murderer.

Or the teen characters whose parents were obviously sleeping around with paramecium.

Wait a sec. That's an insult to paramecium, who're much more intelligent ...

To be honest, I don't read that much horror. My preferences are dark fantasy and vampire fiction rather than straight out horror, mainly because I don't tend to like common horror themes. Stephen King's Pet Semetary was good, it made me think, but it's not a book I'd want to read more than once because it was depressing, and this has been my experience with much of horror.

I've had the difference between horror and dark fantasy defined to me as this: In horror, generally speaking, the monsters are the bad guys; in dark fantasy, the monsters aren't necessarily so. I tend to write my "monsters" (vampires, weres, demons, etc.) sympathetically, and the real monsters are more often than not human. (I suppose that really ought say something about my outlook in terms of humanity. LOL!) I just cannot identify with a close-minded human character whose first reaction to something non-human is "kill."

That said, I do like books in which said character is forced to confront said viewpoint and change; Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake is a good example of this.

But, back to cliches.

I find vampire fiction to be chock-full of cliches. Most vampire fiction relies at least some on traditional vampire legends and Bram Stoker's Dracula, and while I realize a superpowered character needs some weaknesses and drawbacks ... I honestly find it a cop-out to focus soley on traditional myth.

For example, garlic and crosses repelling or actively damaging vampires. I've never understood this, because ... well, why? Just because you're undead doesn't mean you're susceptible to harm by random items, and I find the vulnerability to crosses to be, in a sense, offensive. See, why just crosses and not all religious items? Granted, you could argue that Christians view reaching for their cross as reaching to God for protection, whereas people of other religions might be likely to take a more active stance, but this doesn't really hold water. In LKH's books, her vampires were susceptible to, I believe, all religious items, as she had a scene in one of the early books where she showed people on the cop squad wearing Stars of David and miniature Torahs for protection, and mentioned that it was the belief, not the actual item, that protected them.

However. This does bring up an important question.

Why does religious faith harm vampires? Life beyond death does not imply to me lack of religion. I can't imagine that all vampires are atheists. It'd make an interesting story, or at least part of a book, to have a new vampire question religion, and perhaps have his prior God turn on him because he's no longer human. (I think I might write that, actually.)

I've also had a problem with the susceptibility to sunlight and the reliance on a coffin. Look. In most vampire fiction, you've got the clues right up in front of you and it would take an idiot not to figure it out. (Or someone who flat out doesn't believe in vampires, but that's almost a cliche in itself in terms of vampire fiction. A little bit of unbelief is fine, but if you've got strange shit going on, and all it takes is to put 2 and 2 together ... no. That's when it starts becoming character stupidity.)

There's probably a few others I'm forgetting about at the moment, but these are the biggies, in my opinion. My vampires don't have these weaknesses. The closest thing that I have to the coffin is that my world-walking vampires wear a small leather pouch around their neck, or someplace else on their person, containing soil from their home world. And there's a reason behind this. A lot of my vampires are mages, and their home soil contains blood energy, such as the soil of our planet contains earth energy. The soil doesn't affect their abilitiy to survive, simply enhances their magical ability.

Fear is fundamental in horror, and to a certain extent in dark fantasy. If the only reason the character doesn't know what the fuck is going on is because he's a moron, he loses reader sympathy and there is absolutely no fear involved. But if the common vampire clues aren't there and the characters have no reason to assume "vampire," it seems to me it's a lot scarier.

Yes, because I don't conform to the cliches, I end up with very high-powered characters. Some might say overpowered because at first glance, there aren't any heavy drawbacks. Thing is, I depend a lot on the strengths and weaknesses of personality, probably more than many other authors. Sure, you can be stronger and faster than a human, but if you're arrogant about it, you may well slip up and not realize a cunning trap. Also, you can be outwitted. Brute force isn't always the answer.

That said, I often do run my vampires as the main/side characters, and, when that's the case, I don't give them an easy out because of their advantages. I still depend just as much on personality, and there's an important factor to keep in mind: No matter how big you are, there's always someone out there bigger than you.

I think I end up with a bigger story with a larger scope when I avoid the cliches and easy outs, and ... I have a lot more fun with it.

And I hope it's a lot more enjoyable to readers, too.

I. Hate. Being. Sick.

2005-10-01T16:06:00.000-04:00

I've been down with the flu all week, so really haven't been able to do much in the way of writing. *snarl*gnash*

Should probably sit down and finish reading through Stronger, though... if I can't write... dammit, I should be able to at least edit! :P

Whee...

2005-09-24T21:57:00.000-04:00

Okay. It's been awhile since I've updated this... must really remember that this damn thing, like, exists. :-
I've been somewhat busy recently. All right. Maybe that's a bit of an understatement.

Towards end of EvoLunacy, after realising that I wasn't going to finish plotting out To Weather the Storm in time to finish the marathon, I decided to go through my unfinished stories folder. I have a very bad habit of starting stories and losing interest in them. Usually, if I don't finish them within ... mmm ... a week or so of starting them, I don't finish them.

One specific story jumped out at me. Wings of Steel:

Cursed to flightlessness, Princess Rhuigra of Vhrika is an abomination in the eyes of her people. When her father dies, she is barred from taking her rightful place as Queen. The curse can only be broken by Death's Kiss.

Rhuigra travels to the Land of the Dead to beseech its King for his aid ... but she didn't plan on two things:

The kiss didn't work. And now she's falling for the King.

I started the story about a year ago. I left off about 2.8k into the story when I got distracted with another project and never actually got back to it. I've always loved the story, the concept, and the characters... but I didn't really know where I was going with it.

So I dusted it off and started working on it again. I figured I'd wrap it up in a couple thousaund words, no big.

7k later ...

It's 11k long. At this point, I'm pretty certain it's going to hit at least 20k. Perhaps longer. I have a number of plot points I haven't hit yet, and it's developing oddly. After it's finished, I may need to evaluate whether or not it's worth it to add scenes and subplots to bump it up to novel length. (If so, it'll be the first time I've ever done that. I've known a good few writers who work best writing a 40-60k draft and then edit in enough material to bring it up to 80k+, but I've never thought it was something I could do.)

So I'll see where that goes. I'm posting it in installments under a custom filter on my LiveJournal. (Any of y'all who're on LJ and would like to read, let me know. :) Which gets amusing, because I've apparently a good few people addicted to the story. After a couple years, I forgot how much encouragement like that helped me. I mean, it's one thing for someone to take a look at your wordcount and cheer you on and quite another for them to read what you're writing and want more. (This isn't to say that the former isn't helpful... but it's not helpful enough for me.)

(IE: Keep up the threats, guys. It works. ;)

Aside from that, I've also started working on an erotica story, tentatively titled Vesper's Call; I'm aiming at Ellora's Cave style and length, but I'm not sure quite how that will turn out. I'll have fun writing it, anyway. It's somewhat nice to actually let go and write without the outline for once--but the story is more for fun than anything else. (Not to say what I outline isn't fun... but with my usual work, I'm challenging myself, whereas this is just relaxation. And prelude to good pouncy fun with the male. ^_^)

I'm also teaching Above and Beyond, an intensive novel-writing course based on the principles of Donald Maass's Writing the Breakout Novel, over at Evolution. While teaching the course, I'm also doing the homework with another project, as of yet untitled:

When Lucifer rebelled against Heaven ... God lost. Cast down into Hell, he is all but helpless to stop Lucifer when he sends the Christ child to bring about Apocalypse.

Except Christ rebels. Enraged, Lucifer arranges his crucifixion. The one thing he doesn't plan on: Christ's martyrdom.

Now, hundreds of years later, Lucifer has chosen another soul to act as his son, the Second Coming: Mordred.

Foreseeing his nemesis's actions, God begins gathering forces to battle Lucifer and stop Armageddon. First is his young pupil, Morgan le Fay, who acts as his voice on the physical plane.

I figure the refresher will be good for me ... and some of the things I'm including are based on the workbook exercises, which I haven't done all of. So, should definitely be interesting... and I'm really looking forward to mangling Arthurian legend. Bwahahahaha...

I'm also going to be running a workshop in October covering application of breakout principles and theory to short fiction. Cause it's entirely possible to do so, and better overall for your work. IMO.

I've also founded a weekly short story prompt community on LiveJournal, Bunny_Stew. Take a look; I'm rather pleased with how it's turning out. :)

Add to that I'm doing the usual adminny stuff over on Evo ... yeow. OK. I guess I have been busy. And considering my personal life has been interesting of late ... and that I'm going to be getting a job once we have the car on the road, given impact of said personal things ... yeah ...

*sighs*

I'm never happy unless I'm insanely busy, am I?

Last-Minute Marathon

2005-08-26T13:54:00.000-04:00

This weekend, we're holding a Last-Minute Marathon over at Evolution. If you're doing the Lunacy and are behind--or just are a marathon junkie!--hop on over and join in!

(I'll be in chat most of the weekend, esp. at nights, writing my eyeballs out. This could make typing difficult. Anyone wanting to hop in with me and Word War would be muchly appreciated. ;)

Bunnies Under The Bed

2005-08-14T03:29:00.000-04:00

No, I'm not talking blonde bimbo Bunnies. Sorry to disappoint.

I'm talking plotbunnies here. Yeah. Them. I swear, the buggers must hide under the bed or something. (Though that's gotta be uncomfortable, as our bed at the moment is a mattress on the floor. Apparently I have plotbunny pancakes.)

First, everything was going fine and dandy with Stronger than the Night. Then Eric threw a screaming bitch fit and I got blocked to high holy hell on it. Switch to To Weather the Storm. Everything goes just great with that, till I realise the bloody thing's a trilogy. Hear the screech of mental brakes? Everything closed up shop faster than a good girl's legs. Watch out, the ice burns.

And now my bastard antagonist decides to crawl out from his imprisonment in the pretty pink dungeon, prostrate (not to be confused with prostate) himself in front of me, and tell his Mistress what he wants. WTF?

I think the vroom-vroom of my brain must scare my plotbunnies away. They hear the engine revving and get skitterish, but after awhile it's too much and they run for their safe haven under the bed. Maybe there they'll find peace. Maybe there they'll find some safety from the wicked mind attempting perversion of their inner natures. Maybe there they'll find a place where they can roam free and breed armies of DoomBunnies to assault the writerly world.

Or maybe they'll find themselves flattened into plotbunny pancakes. Anyone got syrup?

Progress update

2005-08-09T01:34:00.000-04:00

To Weather the Storm
3344 / 30000 (11.15%)

I still need to rewrite Chapter 01, and then I can continue on. I'm behind (I should be at 9k), but not so badly that I can't catch up. Still need to get the latter part of the book plotted. Meh.

Why couldn't this be easy for once?

2005-08-06T06:08:00.000-04:00

I swear, it's one thing after another with this WIP. First, I find out after finishing Lucivano's character bio and outlining accordingly that he was enslaved for ten years, which so totally fucks over my former idea of his character. Read: bitter ex-slave vs. hopeful ambitious youth. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, I find out the book is actually a trilogy.

I've been having trouble with the book since I started working on it. At least, trouble with Zenaya's scenes. I didn't have any trouble with the first interlude with the Voidlords. Rather liked how it came out, and liked working on it. Came off it excited to work on the next one, which I found somewhat strange, since I left the first scene not looking forward to the next.

I attributed it to just having problems with writing in general. I've had trouble every time I've attempted writing a novel for the past two years. I think the most I've ever managed to write in one before burning out was about 15k. (I'm getting sick of it.) So I didn't really pay too much attention, just kept (trying) to slag along, without making much progress. Got very annoyed at the WIP trying to flip to 1st person.

After two hours and 200 words tonight, it hit me. The book--or, at least, Zenaya's scenes--want to be written in 1st person. Except the book can't be in 1st, because I have more than one viewpoint character. I know that books with more than one 1st person viewpoint character are selling now, but I haven't seen it done (yet) in a way that works well. I tried to push ahead anyway, and kept having trouble.

So I decided, no harm in seeing how it would flow in 1st. So rewrote what I already had. Ended up with 450 words vs. 280--in 15 minutes. Part of the speed is the words I already had written... but I nearly doubled my count in less than an eigth of the time it took me to write the original words. And I'm not slogging through it, feeling like it's fake and shitty.

*thunks*

So the first draft will be written in 1st, at least for Zenaya's scenes. After the book is finished, I'll rewrite to tight third. Shouldn't be that big a deal, as tight third is essentially 1st person written with 3rd person pronouns, sans limitations of 1st.

This never could be easy, could it? :P

Halfway point...

2005-07-31T18:59:00.000-04:00

I'm halfway through the outline. I have, oh, about five hours. Two or so of which will be taken up by cooking and Evolution Core meeting. And I have an evil sinus headache. *meep*

I'm so screwed.

Lovely...

2005-07-30T14:36:00.000-04:00

So, I'd get a fair amount of scenes plotted... and then I'd have to realise I don't have one of the storylines developed properly. Look a bit closer, ask a few questions... and now I've got a complication that's going to be a bloody pain in the ass to resolve. (Mainly, one of my viewpoint characters was enslaved for ten years, and only just managed to escape. Considering I'd intended him on being a fairly innocent character, all in all ... yeah. That's not happening.)

Which means, I get to do another char bio for the motherfucker, and figure out what to do from there on. *thunks*

And EvoLunacy is the day after tomorrow. Ack!

Plotting!

2005-07-27T05:05:00.000-04:00

I finished up the majority of the prewriting for To Weather the Storm last night, to the point that I can actually plot. Yay!

Been playing around with StoryLines, a program specifically designed for organising plotting/prewriting notes. Very nifty program. Nice being able to notecard without fear of a little black feline fiend zooming through and fucking everything up.

So I started plotting. I've got 16 scenes so far. I'm estimating about 2k per scene, with the exception of the interludes with the Lords of the Void, which should be under 1k each. I need somewhere between 50 - 65 scenes, since I want the book to end up between 100 - 120k.

Now it's just a matter of tying all the threads together. I've got a couple of unknown factors, too, which isn't helping much. Well. Not unknown so much as ... I know their attitudes and that they'll get involved in the book, but I'm not sure how they're going to get involved, or what happens when they do. *sigh*

Granted, this is normal for me. The actual plotting doesn't usually take more than a couple days, but my mind ends up in, like, hypedrive while I'm banging away at it. :P

As I've been working on this for the past three and a half hours, I'm taking a fuckin' break.

Random update

2005-07-26T02:09:00.000-04:00

Meh. I hadn't meant for it to be so long between updates. Just been somewhat busy recently, with writing, Evo, and everything. (BTW--for those who might be interested, I'm running Fighting the Blank Screen Blues, a workshop on combating writer's block, this week over at Evolution.)

I've been pretty busy this week, especially. Stronger's been giving me royal fits. Mainly because Eric doesn't want to cooperate, and I really need to have his character fleshed out more before I start the actual rewrite. He's the weakest link, and I hate having underdeveloped antagonists. Too many authors, especially in the fantasy genre, resort to cliches and easy answers. I like my characters realistic and complex. ;)

About four or so days ago, I started thinking about it, because EvoLunacy starts on August 1st, and I'm so not ready with Stronger. On the other hand, I had To Weather the Storm partially plotted.

Okay, I had the rough premise and a couple character bios. That said, it wasn't giving me nearly as much fits as Stronger.

So, the rewrite is on the backburner for the moment, with Eric tied up and gagged in the closet, and I'm working on To Weather the Storm. I've been working hard on worldbuilding, character development, and plotting, and I'm really liking what I've come up with. It's definitely expanded in both scope and complexity--but that's the whole point of the work I've been doing. What's the point of writing a simplistic novel? ;)

At this point, I've got enough material for one book, certainly, with threads leading into another, and I might could get a third out of it. (That being said, I'm planning on wrapping up what I can in one book, just with threads I could pick up on should it sell. :)

I hadn't really wanted to do this... I'd planned on waiting and doing the prewriting along with Above and Beyond, the advanced novel-writing class I'll be teaching over at Evolution come September. *shrugs* I guess I'll go back and work on Shadow's Blade alongside that, and go back to Stronger as soon as I've got To Weather the Storm finished. (Which should be within three months, given Stronger is roughly that length and it took me about four months to complete that.)

Anyhoo. Getting sleepy here. See y'all later. :)

EvoLunacy!

2005-07-12T03:36:00.000-04:00

This August at Evolution, we'll be holding our first all-month writing event.

Three goals: 10k, 30k, or 50k. (Yeah. Utter lunacy. Hence the name. ;))

The challenge is open to everyone, whether or not they're a member of Evolution. Come check it out!

Meep...

2005-07-10T11:59:00.000-04:00

Sorry for not updating in awhile. Past couple weeks have been hellish. I just switched birth control pills (orthocylene to a progestin-only pill), so my hormones have been all out of whack and I've felt shitty. It's starting to calm down some, though, thankfully.

I'm still struggling with the Stronger rewrite. Eric, my antagonist, is not being very cooperative. I'm having more trouble with him than Tasha, Aster, and Kierhan combined. It's rather annoying.

In other news, I'm also working on a short piece for the MuseMuggers anthology, Red Silk Skull. I think this is the first time I've outright written about a necromancer, and I rather like how it's coming along. :)

Progress

2005-06-25T13:06:00.000-04:00

Wrote 303 in prewriting for Stronger. The exercises are helping quite a bit; when I did Kierhan's last week, I came up with conflict for him I otherwise wouldn't have thought of, along with further complications. With Aster ... well, heh. I realised part of why I may have been having trouble with her. She's a lesbian. She just hasn't thought about her sexuality; so much else has gone on that she assumed she was straight and just kept ending up with assholes or guys that otherwise weren't right for her.

This should make the sequel, Stranger to the Light, interesting, as Aster is its' MC, and I'd planned a romance between her and one of the scouts for the blood vampire invasion force. I'd assumed it would be het, but if Aster's lesbian... it could definitely be a lot of fun. I've never actually written a lesbian romance before. :)

Also wrote a 190-word long poem that I'm rather pleased with. It has a bit of a different tone than most of my poetry, while still being in the same style.

Whew!

2005-06-19T11:41:00.000-04:00

Finished Transformation at 3k. I'm very pleased with how it turned out, even if the MC is begging for her own novel. At least it's set in the Stronger universe; I've already got a fair number of novels planned, and other characters have dibs first. (As the series is loosely connected ... there's running plot threads throughout them all, but I'm trying to make them stand alone ... even if Stronger doesn't sell, I figure I can still write and hopefully sell Stranger.)

It feels really good to get back to writing again. :)

And, a bit of writerly humor...

[17:48] mistressnonny: Your Muse is infectious. >_<
[17:48] Alli: LOL, I saw that
[17:48] Alli: I really am sorry. >_<
[17:48] mistressnonny: hehe
[17:50] mistressnonny: i _guess_ it's better than having the muse go dry...
[17:50] Alli: *snicker*
[17:50] mistressnonny: after all, you can't exactly buy lube for your muse
[17:50] Alli: o_O
[17:52] Alli: That's a freaky mental image
[17:53] mistressnonny: cure for writer's block! MuseLube!
[17:53] mistressnonny: ;)
[17:53] Alli: XD
[17:53] Alli: I need a MuseSedative XP
[17:53] mistressnonny: I need MuseRitalin. :P
[17:53] Alli: LOL

Word War?

2005-06-17T14:07:00.000-04:00

It's about 2PM EST, and I'm over in Evolution's Workroom ... anyone wanna pop in for a Word War?

Rewrite

2005-06-16T07:43:00.000-04:00

I made a phone post over on my LiveJournal the other day ... mostly blabbering about my rewrite, but I thought some of y'all might be interested in putting a voice to the words. ;)

Aside from that ... I decided the other day to go ahead and start working on the rewrite using the Maass exercises. I'd originally written Stronger with BN principles in mind, so going over it with applicable exercises would strengthen what I already had.

So, I get to the second exercise, which asks, essentially, what my protagonist wants.

I stop dead in my tracks, about like a zombie slammed by a pickup truck. I had no idea what Cassandra wanted. None.

Okay. This is bad. But not too bad. I have notes from BN course. Fairly substantial notes, actually, though not quite as thorough as I would have liked; I'm thinking that most of the little niggling details, I'd fleshed out in IM and chat; back then, I didn't keep chat logs. I didn't trust my parents not to find them and get pissed that I was talking to people online.

I found a transcript I had saved--a filetting session. In it, I had my original idea trashed, and was told I could only have one villain, I couldn't have Cassandra be depressed, and it was a LKH ripoff.

In the original premise, I was going to have two distinct factions of the Dark Court. Alex Chandler wanted Cassandra, powerful byproduct of a forbidden union between two kreshida (psychic vampires), dead, because the last Abomination nearly destroyed their race centuries before. Eric White wanted to make her their Queen, hoping to turn her survived traumas into a tool he could use to manipulate her and reuinite their Court.

I have a much lesser version of that in the book as it stands; also, Alex decided that he didn't want to kill Cassandra, he wanted to surrender to his love for her. Like, two days before the assignment was due. *thunks*

As a result of that, I had to run with Eric as the villain, and I really hadn't done much development on him, since I'd trusted A's opinion; she'd been writing much longer than I, had taken the course the prior year, and said some of my problems were ones that she'd been thwapped upside the head for, too. So, me being inexperienced, I believed her.

To be fair, she was also a romance writer, and romance and fantasy are two very different genres. (The battered, mutilated corpse of a thing that is my first attempt at writing romance stands as testament to that fact!) I know that in romance, more than one villain can complicate the subplot, detracting from the main plot. That said, she'd also written fantasy, and gave a different reason for why you couldn't have more than one villain--it would detract from the climax and make the hero's win matter less. Which I flat-out don't agree with.

In regards to Cassandra's depression ... she's had people trying to kill her for the past few years, and striking out at those she loves. Of course she's going to be depressed. Of course she's going to be despairing. The attitude people had was that if she was depressed in any way, she wouldn't be sympathetic. I can understand that it's something that needs to be handled carefully, but I cut it all out, and I think that was a mistake.

As to "ripoff" ... yes, there are similarities. It's the same subgenre, dealing with some of the same supernatural creatures. That being said, by that logic, LKH is a ripoff of Misty Lackey's Diana Tregarde. No idea is inherently original. Everything borrows from everything else. It's how you tell the story and what you do with it that makes it original.

I have to admit, I got fairly angry reading the transcript. It probably shows with how long this post has gotten. Partly for what was said to me, and partly because I bought it and compromised what I wanted to do with the story.

Knowing what I do now... knowing it wasn't what I wanted in the beginning... even though the story is saleable with some reasonably minor rewrites ... I wouldn't be happy with it, because it's not what I wanted. So that means I've got a heftier rewrite in store for me than I'd thought.

Fortunately, I'm fairly certain I can pull it off without having to revise the entire thing. It's not like Sanctuary, Mercenary or Bridge of Faith, all of which require major rewriting before I ever let them see the light of day.

I can do this.

It's just hard. Very hard. Because ... *sighs*

Part of it is that when I first started prewriting the novel, I was best friends with my ex-fiance. He and I were both taking the course; him officially, me as an auditor, because there were only so many slots for participants. We spent a lot of time in chat and IM, brainstorming and tossing ideas back and forth. Looking through files, notes, and things, I kept finding logs, snips of chat, and ... while he was an abusive asshole to me when we were together, I miss having someone who understood my writing, what it meant to me, what I wanted to do. While I don't think he had the skill to write the kind of novel he was aiming for (that said, he never actually finished the one I thought had the best bet of being that), he understood the theory well, and could critique and make suggestions based on BN concepts and principles.

I haven't found that since. And I miss that gestalt dearly. I don't miss him, but that ... that I miss.

The book brings back a lot of memories. They're not all bad, which is almost worse in a way. Bittersweet and tragic. I had a lot going on when I was writing Stronger. I poured a lot into it. I only hope that I can prevent my feelings of the past now from contaminating the book. I don't think they will ... but it's a fear.

I'm so tired of having to fight every time I try to write something more than a short story. It seems like that's all I do anymore--fight the memories, fight past conditioning, fight fears. I feel like some whiny little bitch that can only make excuses and complain about what's been done to her. I'm sick of it, and I'm sick of fighting.

But the only alternative to fighting is to give up and give in. And I'll be fucked with a tabasco-laced cactus by Satan's lead demon and a pack of hell-hounds before I let that happen.

Onward now and on forever and onward now.
All great things to come.
We few, we lucky few.
Once more to the breach, dear friends, once more...
--VNV Nation

Off-topic, but important ...

2005-06-16T05:34:00.000-04:00

"Love in Action": Cult to "Degayify" Children--I'm still too fucking pissed for words. I'd thought the world was starting to grow out of this shit. Apparently I was mistaken.

Do Something About It.

Thoughts...

2005-06-12T11:29:00.000-04:00

I'm in an odd way of it at the moment.

Some of y'all--but not the majority--knew me back in 2002, when I was writing consistently. I got together with my abusive ex-fiance late in that year, and left Washington State in early 2003 to be with him. Writing brought the two of us together, but the longer we were together, the more he satobaged my dreams.

I was pretty messed up when I broke up with him. Problems with my prior relationship didn't help matters, though most of those were due to trying to make an impossible situation work. I got back, kind of, to writing last summer, but that was short-lived, as depression, job-hunting, etc, interfered. (Actually, I've had trouble with situational depression the past three autumns... hopefully can avoid that this year. At least in 2002, it didn't completely derail me.)

When I left Washington, I was very confident. I believed that my dreams weren't out of reach, that I could achieve them. That confidence faded with time. I attributed it to grandiosity.

"Sure, you might get published, but you won't manage anything substantial. Besides, you should get a Real Job and stop playing at Pro."

No, I'm not a professional writer in that I can support myself on my writing. I'm a professional in my demeanor and attitude; I'm a professional in my outlook; I'm a professional in that I have made a pro-paid sale.

When I was having so much trouble with the fibromyalgia after I moved here, I came to the conclusion that I likely wouldn't be able to hold a job, so started working on the writing again. Thing is, supplements and such that didn't work before seem to be working now, to the point I haven't had to take a pain pill in three weeks. (Except the half ultram I took for a bad toothache, and that doesn't count.)

Morgan and I have been talking. I've been like, "If I'm not in so much pain that I can't hold a job, then I really should start job-hunting as soon as we have the car on the road." His attitude ... rather surprised me. He would understand if I wanted to get a job, but I don't need to; finances have been tight recently because of the unexpected $1700 vet bill that needed to be paid in full that week. Otherwise, things may be a bit tighter than both of us would prefer, but it's not going to kill us or cause problems for me not to work.

He's stated his preference--he would rather me not work. Not to stay at home and cook and clean or shit like that, but to write, to pursue my dream in a way not open to him.

On one hand, I want, with all my heart and soul, to dedicate myself to my writing, to pursue my dreams, and be everything I know that I am capable of.

On the other hand, I should get a job. I should be bringing in money. I should do this, I should do that.

I'm sick of "should"s. They've ruled too much of my life. But it's hard to take that step.

It's hard to have confidence in myself after so long. I know my work is publishable. I know Stronger will sell, especially after I finish the rewrite; it may take time to place it, but it will sell. I know the short fiction will sell, too.

I have an opportunity that so few writers have, but so many long for, but I'm afraid to take it. I'm just ... afraid. And I don't know why.

Progress...

2005-06-12T04:37:00.000-04:00

Submitted six stories a few hours ago; at this point, I think I have all that are in submittable condition out, with the exception of a couple that are going to be hard to place. (And I think I found somewhere to send one.)

Need to work on the rewrite for Stronger. I'm waffling a bit on it, because I'm trying to decide if I need to/should go through it with the Maass workbook and do the exercises. I don't think it needs it, but I'm not sure if doing so wouldn't help the book. Mreh.

I think I'm also going to be teaching A&B solo again this year; a friend of mine had offered to help co-teach it with me, but he's been busy recently, and has a kid. Since I want to do it over the summer, I'm not sure that's going to work out. So I need to get together a syllabus and plan out the course. I made some mistakes last year that I plan to rectify, and hopefully it goes better this year than last. *crosses fingers*

Out of curiousity...

2005-06-08T06:19:00.000-04:00

Who actually reads this?

If you read, please post a comment?

:)

blinkblink*

2005-06-08T06:08:00.000-04:00

So ... I'm editing Stronger than the Night, going through the first chapter--which I'd been working on earlier in the week, but put on hold while waiting for my mother (who's a nurse) to get back to me with some medical information--right? And then I come across this--

His face contorted in rage as he drew his arm back, prepSatanng for the downward strike that would end her life.

And here I am trying to figure out how the hell Satan got into that sentence. Apparently the dude's just trying to get his ass into a lot of places now! (Or maybe something more than his ass. :P)

Then it hits me.

I did a find and replace all earlier in that chapter, to change the name Ari to Satan. Apparently it thought that the "ari" in "preparing" was supposed to be changed, too. >_<

Obviously, I will have to turn case sensitivity on. (Because I'm so good at turning things on, ya know? ;)

Definitely an amusing moment.

The Metric Shitload

2005-06-08T06:04:00.000-04:00

I just spent, oh, a good four or five hours going through a metric shitload of old fiction. Dear gods. My mind needs a bath. (I wrote a longer post about it over at Evolution, if anyone wants to take a look... I just don't feel like writing it all out again! LOL!)

2005-06-07T05:34:00.000-04:00

Received the edits for Walk in Blood from Shadowed Realms about an hour or two ago. Went through them, fixed and twiddled things, and shot it back. Though, one of the editor's comments on the story:

> Overall, I was very taken by the concept of your
> story, plus the structure of your sentences and
> their grammatical accuracy conveyed a polished
> professionalism.

... I submitted the rough draft. (Seriously. I ran a spellcheck and made sure there were no glaring errors, but other than that ... nothing.)

*thinks*

Then again, I think everything I've submitted, with the exception of a very few old stories that went through a complete overhaul, has been a rough draft. >_<

This, however, makes for a very confident kitty regarding further submissions.

*bounce*

Submissions

2005-06-04T11:57:00.000-04:00

Well, I was going to work on writing this morning, but after having been up over twenty-four hours the prior day, and then getting about three hours of sleep ... I was a bit too tired for that. Also, the story I'm working on, I'm trying to figure out precisely how to write it.

(And I'd best hurry, because, dammit, it needs to be done by tomorrow evening. :P)

That said, I recompiled my submissions database ... it was out of date, and I figured a better way to organise it. Then queried on some stories I hadn't heard anything from in awhile, resubmitted to one place because they never got the story, and did some new story submissions.

Currently, I have 26 stories that are submittable. 13 are out, including the ones I submitted this morning. (Sent stories to Oceans of the Mind, Strange Horizons, Farthing, and Story House.) So, basically, half. (That said, the erotica is going to be a bitch to place ... I love writing it, but the style of erotica I write is difficult because I don't write straight contemporary--I always have a fantastic/speculative element to it.)

And now, off to make food, catch male when he comes home, and go to sleep.

I sold a story!!!

2005-06-03T12:39:00.000-04:00

Edited to fix the HTML. Dear gods, that borked...

Dear Nonny,

As it has been so long since you originally submitted, Walk in Blood I decided I should research the possibility you may have sold it to someone else. In doing so I stumbled across your evolutionwriters site. Congratulations on securing another 2 'points of Courage' for a story sale and an additional extra 'personal editor point'. You deserve to be commended for this is wonderfully supportive outlook you are fostering at your site and also the positive view of rejections. Well done!

After giving careful consideration to your submission, Walk in Blood, we would like to publish your story in Issue 5 of Shadowed Realms--please confirm you have not previously sold this story as we no longer accept reprints.

[...]

*cue mad squeeing*

This would be my first pro-paid sale. (They pay 5c/word.) I'm like ... wow. Just ... wow. And she actually took the time to look me up online and use my favored name, which I never mention in subs. Wow.

*continues boinging*

"And this is what I get for naming him Satan"

2005-05-31T08:10:00.000-04:00

Some things you don't expect to happen in a rewrite. I knew that I have to change a couple names in Stronger, because I started the prewriting for the book before I'd gotten together with my ex-fiance, when we were best friends, and I'd named the MC's cat and a minor character after him and his cat.

So here I am, trying to figure out what the fuck to name the little beast. And then ...

Satan.

What's bad? Cassandra would name her cat Satan. It'd piss off her parents, and that'd be a definite plus. And, well, the cat is a little devil. :P

*shakes head*

Of course, I'd have to have a book with a cat named Satan ...

Playlist

2005-05-31T06:05:00.000-04:00

Well, I kind of started on the rewrite ... I resurrected the playlist, at least. Would you believe I actually had it saved on my computer, even after three years and three computers? *shakes head*

O'course, I discovered that I didn't have a good many of the songs anymore, so I had to go download, retag, and I added some new songs. It doesn't help that many of the songs hold visceral bittersweet memories for me. I was falling in love with my ex-fiance, going to college, and having problems with my family. It doesn't help matters that the fiance turned abusive and I left him over a year ago, I left college, left WA State, and I ended up leaving the writing community I was a member of then and forming Evolution.

*sighs*

So I'm going to go play NWN for awhile and see if I can get head cleared. Then I'll hit the rewrite. :)

yawns

2005-05-31T03:25:00.000-04:00

It's too early to be tired, damn it. Especially after I slept ten hours earlier this evening. Mrr.

Okay. It's about 3:30-ish, and I should still be up for awhile. I've got some stuff to do around Evolution, but after that ... I could write, but I should probably start working on the rewrite for Stronger than the Night. It's finished, but I need to do a one-pass rewrite, which, if I actually snap to it, I can probably finish in about two weeks.

... which means I need to stop procrastinating.

*whistles*

Okay, 'nuff of this. Off to post and edit. :)

Wordage

2005-05-29T06:02:00.000-04:00

Wrote 563 words in At the End of the World, the story I'm doing for MuseMuggers. Feeling rather shitty at the moment (had a really bad hypoglycemic attack earlier), so I think I'm going to go off and take a bath. We'll see how I feel afterwards; I may write more, or I may crawl off to bed. (Methinks it will be the latter, but who knows?)

Small snippet from the WIP:

"What is your business here?" Laesha, Archmage of Pyre Tower, shot an annoyed glance at the ruffian on her doorstep. He might've been handsome, were he not covered with dirt and grime, hair touseled with sea salt. His eyes caked near shut by the muck, she couldn't even tell their color.

The man stared back at her, rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of his salt-stiffened, water-stained coat. It looked to be of better quality than someone such as him could possibly afford. Her lips quirked as suspicion rose. "Have ye been unaware of the storm, milady?"

"I have not." Did he think her an imbecile? No one could possibly have ignored the waves crashing against the island's high cliffs, nor the wind blasting against her tower's walls, and certainly not the lightning striking down trees which had stood untouched for centuries. Realization dawned on her. "You were out in the middle of that and survived?"

"Aye." He ducked his head in a nod. "I did. My crew did not."

She tightened her lips, lowering her head in an expression of sympathy. "I am sorry to hear of your loss, sirrah." Thunder rumbled across the sky and lightning crackled. Even though she did not trust this man, she couldn't just leave him at the mercy of the elements. Laesha extended her hand, beckoning. "Come. You have my hospitality until the storm passes."

Word War?

2005-05-28T23:56:00.000-04:00

If anyone would be interested, I'm going to be in Evolution's StormChat trying to get some writing done ... as I have a MuseMuggers piece to finish tonight, along with the rest of the character bio. So, if anyone would like to pop in for a Word War in a half hour, hour or so (or anytime tonight, really!!), I'll be there. :)

(Note: For those not already a member of Evolution, you'll have to register on the boards, but that takes less than five minutes. :P)

Hit goal!

2005-05-28T10:05:00.000-04:00

Serrau's CharBio
1066 / 1000 (106.60%)

Took me three frickin' days, but I hit 1k ... and I'm still not finished with the bio. >_<

That said, I'm really liking Serrau. I mean, really liking. As in, "Dammit! I want one!" like. (And no, Morgan, that's not just because he's felinoid. :P)

... and, of course, I would get an idea for a story for MuseMuggers ... pirates, lady mages in towers, sex, destruction of the world ... hoo boy. My mind seems to be on overdrive recently. And I'm lovin' every minute of it. *grins*

Wheee!

2005-05-27T06:37:00.000-04:00

Serrau's CharBio
468 / 1000 (46.80%)

Almost at the halfway point ... ended up in a fairly heavy discussion with one of my sisters earlier resulting in much thought, so I didn't quite get as much done as I would've liked.

That said ... I'm feeling very good about it all. I've been making progress, which is more than I can say for the past several months. I've been feeling better physically, as well, which I am very glad for. So ... hopefully it'll stay this way. Because I'm sick of feeling like shit. :P

Got words

2005-05-26T09:37:00.000-04:00

Serrau's CharBio
336 / 1000 (33.60%)

Taking a break to eat at the moment. Being hypoglycemic sucks.

Well, I didn't expect _that_ ...

2005-05-25T11:17:00.000-04:00

I just finished up a flash piece for one of Amme's Word of the Day prompts over at Evolution. Came in at 328 words, and I'm rather pleased with it. :)

Link is here for anyone who would like to read; warning, though, you'll have to be registered and logged in to view. :)

Woot!!!

2005-05-25T10:30:00.000-04:00

I finished the character bio!!! Wheee!!!

Zenaya Kirador's CharBio
1306 / 1000 (130.60%)

I'm really rather pleased with how it came out. I learned a lot about the MC and her past, along with some worldbuilding information ... now I need to do the hero's, but I may let that one wait until tomorrow.

*squee!*

This would be more than I've written in ... well ... since I moved here, actually. And I managed to do this with a migraine, which makes me especially happy, because ... well, it's been a very long time since I'd actually done so. (I used to all the time, because there was a time period of about three or four months two years back where I would get a migraine almost every other day. Granted, I didn't know they were migraines then, because I don't get the visual disturbances--I get just about everything else, though ... nausea, light and sound sensitivity, general physical and emotional oversensitivity ...)

And I love my wonderful male. He brainstormed with me prior to working on the bio ... it's been a very, very long time since I had anyone I could brainstorm with on a regular basis. (Ex-fiance, before we got together IRL, actually ... after I moved in with him, brainstorming turned into something that he could use against me ... "I spent three hours discussing your WIP and now I'm emotionally exhausted and you don't care about me or my WIP at all"--that sort of thing after I'd spent quite literally days discussing his with him. *rolls eyes*)

I really did miss it. And ... *sigh* I've honestly always had trouble writing when I didn't have someone for a "writing buddy." I've had the same trouble the past couple years that I had before I joined a writer's group in the first place. Meh. Sucks. But oh well. Have male now. Have very willing male. Er, that sounds wrong. Gah. Male willing to writhe with me--write, for fuck's sake. Mreh.

Whee. Have I mentioned I have a tendency to babble when I'm up too long? Well, if you didn't know before, you do now. ;)

And I'm going to shit up now before I typo anything else.

Um. Right. See what I mean?

*hides*

2005-05-25T04:28:00.000-04:00

Okay, got the post for the Sex & Sexuality thread done. That was ... difficult.

And I'm staying up. So, hopefully, writing will happen tonight.

No, make that, writing will happen tonight. Dammit.

Oh! And see the nifty progress meter my male wrote!

Zenaya Kirador's CharBio
0 / 1000 (0%)

He's still working on it--this's beta version--but still ... *purrrrrrrrrrrrrrs*

There are serious advantages to having a geek male. ;)

grumbles

2005-05-25T03:53:00.000-04:00

Mreh. 1gb of music categorised ... that only took about, oh, four hours. Granted, a good deal of it is stuff I'd lost in a Windows crash that's appropriate to the book, but still. Now I'm doing adminny-type things over at Evolution.

Wrote up the welcome post for the new Romantic Fiction board; now I'm working on the stickied post for the Sex & Sexuality thread. Trying to do that with a splitting headache is just ... fuuuuun.

*sigh*

I'd wanted to try to get some writing done tonight, but unless I consume massive amounts of caffeine (and sugar, musn't forget the sugar), I'll be snoozing in about an hour, hour and a halfish. Meh.

*debates*

Hmm.

*debates some more*

*wanders off to discuss with male type thing*

Mrrrrrrrrrrr...

2005-05-22T04:46:00.000-04:00

... or, I was going to write, until my computer decided to be a little fucking bitch. *growls*

*sighs*

At least I got a good portion of the playlist for that WIP worked up. The computer freezing and rebooting every, oh, 15 to 30 minutes really doesn't do much for my patience. >:(

Mreh ...

2005-05-22T04:42:00.000-04:00

Okay. Dammit. I need to write. I have two plotbunnies--two!!!--and a book to rewrite, on top of that. So, I need to do some prewriting on one of the bunnies ... probably I'll work on the cat-people one, as that's calling me atm.

Romance between a felinoid warlord and a human tracker/ranger with both their peoples on the brink of war. Will be much fun. The idea actually came from a dream, which I typed up ...

In the dream, I was a human female in a Tudor-style village. My uncle, one of the Queen's lieutenants, came to me one day, and explained that the threat of the cat-people was increasing. They were raiding the villages, and they needed my help to scout out their locations.
I agreed, and went, in the middle of winter, over much snow. It was a very far ways from the village to the cat-people's land ... they lived by the ocean. I ended up on the beach; hundreds of the cat-people were gathered on the shore, and a tidal wave was coming in. I didn't know how to swim; it was forbidden to my people, the in-landers, because it was something the cat-people did. I figured best to take my chances with the cat-people and ran for them. I ended up with a mother and her cubs, and noticed that the ears were almost human ... hybrid.

The water came in, towards us, and the cat-people didn't move back ... it was coming up over the shore, and I thought that we were all going to drown. Then the cat-people combined magic; the water flowed over us like there was a shield protecting us.

When it passed, I tried to escape. I heard footsteps behind me, and I ran. The Warlord of the cat-people caught up with me and demanded to know why I was there. I explained ... and realised that having been there, I didn't want them dead like I had before. And, well, extreme lustage for the Warlord. He took me aside and told me that he did not have as much power as he wished, and that what I had heard was true; the cat-people had broken into dissent, with those that wished to live peacefully with the humans and others that wanted them dead. His son and the shaman were a member of the latter party.

We ended up having sex, and then heard the shaman and son coming up for us ... so we fled. He knew that they would smell my scent on him, so came with me; we ran into my uncle along the way, who captured him and took him back to the Queen. She wanted to kill him, but decided to let him return in a gesture of good will... in hopes of attaining peace.

It will most certainly change as I prewrite, but uthat's what I'm working with right now. :)

All righty ... off to take bath, then try and get some work done.

Book meme

2005-05-22T00:29:00.000-04:00

I've been tagged by Gina! *grins*

Total number of books I own: Umm. *thinks* At this point, somewhere around 100 - 150? Maybe 200? I haven't actually gone in and counted recently. I didn't do much reading or book-buying when I was in Texas ... didn't have the peace of mind to do so. So the majority of what I have is from when I was back in Washington... although my male seems bound and determined to correct this. ;)

Last Book I Bought: Morgan and I very recently went on a book-buying spree; a used bookstore in Providence, RI, was having a 40% off sale. And then upon unpacking the books I'd brought from WA to do an inventory, I realised that I was missing a good number of books by Marion Zimmer Bradley ... as I scoured that bookshelf and the living room when I left TX, I'm guessing they probably fell into the box of my ex's books that one of my housemates took down and sold at the used bookstore for me. >_<

Last Book I Read: I just finished reading Hidden Truth by Dawn Cook, second in a series. It's a very good series, and as I don't normally like "light" fantasy ....

Five Books That Mean A Lot To Me: Mrr. *thinks* This is a tough question to answer because most of what I could list are serials! :P

The Black Jewels trilogy by Anne Bishop
These books have always affected me very profoundly... I read them first when I was fourteen, just before the last one came out. They're not light reading by any stretch of the imagination. An ongoing theme is the contrast between dark and light ... and what's really the darkness? I continue to find things every time I reread this trilogy that I missed priorly, which is unusual, to say the least.

The Incarnations of Immortality series by Piers Anthony
While much of his work, to be honest, is primarily aimed at horny teenage boys, I've always loved these books; they've made me look very closely at my own beliefs and question what I'd been told was right. And, hell, any series in which God is voted out and replaced with a woman--a prostitute, no less!--just rocks for ballsyness. *grins*

The Forbidden Tower by Marion Zimmer Bradley
I think this probably has to be one of the first books I read that introduced the concept of polyamory and group relationships in a positive fashion. (No, I never actually read Heinlein--yes, I know, I was a poor, depriaved child. :P) Along with that, it deals very intimately with the magic system of the world, which further piqued my interest in magic. (I always was interested, even when I was conservative Christian and didn't want to admit it.)

The Song of the Lioness quartet by Tamora Pierce
These weren't the first of her books I read, but they're the ones I love the most. I've always had a weakness for the "girl must disguise herself as a male for x reason" plots, and this quartet is, quite honestly, the best; Tammy does not shy away from the important questions... like what a young girl does about menstruation and communal bathing while living as a page in a castle surrounded by men.

Writing the Breakout Novel (and companion workbook) by Donald Maass
And I really do have to put this here, because it's affected my writing in very profound, deep ways. While I had barely competant fiction before reading this book ... I think my fiction is very much the better for having read this and implemented his techniques.

Tagging: Anyone who wants to take this. :)

The beginning ...

2005-05-21T06:37:00.000-04:00

I hate writing opening posts. I bloody hate it. Then again, I don't think anyone particularly likes doing it.

Anyway ... most of y'all know me; if not, you should be able to figure it out fairly quickly by looking at my profile. ;)

So, I've been on LiveJournal for about two years after getting fed up with the way Google'd handled Blogger changes; why the hell did I decide to come back? It's not that I'm disappointed with LJ at all; I'm certainly keeping my account there. The one big problem I have with LJ is that it's a royal pain in the ass to customise your account at all. I can't figure out S2, nor can any of the programmers I know. That said, the ability to friends-lock and filter entries is certainly worth it.

Anyway, the main reason I created the account is that the majority of the chicks over at Romance Divas use Blogger, so I figured I'd come back and see if it'd gotten any better ... and I'm rather impressed, to be honest. Friends list capability would be nice, but since I use SharpReader, a feed aggregator, it's really not that big a deal.

So, pretty much, I'm probably going to use this blog for tracking writing progress and general thoughts on writing. Personal entries will be over at LiveJournal ... as will any long-term posting of WIPs, for reasons of publication rights. :)

See y'all around!

Into the Shadows

Moving the blog...

Writing Communities and Toxic Perfectionism

Progress

*blink*blink*

Dear gods...

Further realisations...

Introspection...

On horror/vampire cliches...

I. Hate. Being. Sick.

Whee...

Last-Minute Marathon

Bunnies Under The Bed

Progress update

Why couldn't this be easy for once?

Halfway point...

Lovely...

Plotting!

Random update

EvoLunacy!

Meep...

Progress

Whew!

Word War?

Rewrite

Off-topic, but important ...

Thoughts...

Progress...

Out of curiousity...

*blink*blink*

The Metric Shitload

Submissions

I sold a story!!!

"And this is what I get for naming him Satan"

Playlist

*yawns*

Wordage

Word War?

Hit goal!

Wheee!

Got words

Well, I didn't expect _that_ ...

Woot!!!

*grumbles*

Mrrrrrrrrrrr...

Mreh ...

Book meme

The beginning ...

blinkblink*

blinkblink*

yawns

grumbles